I wonder. What does the word commitment means? Seriously. From the bottom of my heart. Deep down. I am scared of that word even though I don't exactly know what it means? But all I can is that I am weak. I am weak when it comes to guys.
It's been a while for me dating someone.and getting myself comfortable with a guy. It's been a while since I went back in to the dating world. And all because I was scared. I was a chicken.

I wonder whether I ever had a first love? I had my share of ex boyfriends but have I ever had that first love? Thinking back. I don't. Its not something to brag about or talk about. But from my whole 18 years I have never been really IN love. Is it that bad? Gosh.

Where do broken hearts go?
Is it still etched in a piece of your heart? Or will it leave and fade away just like that? And if somebody loves you, Won't they always love you? Explain it to me.

No doubt. Mingling around and talking around is fun. Im getting much more comfortable with more people around me. Im getting that confidence of loving myself. Im appreciating the things around me. Sometimes I wonder why it took me 18 years of my life to appreciate it all and get that confidence. The confidence of loving myself and my body. It's coming back slowly. It is. Trust me!

Maybe because Im getting a year older and being in a legal age. It gets me thinking about it much deeper. It makes me understand life a bit more. Im loving you!

I'm going to miss my Saturday nights. Drooling at the uniform guys. No more of all that. Im going to miss this experience.

xoxo
Idayu.