What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment   You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Commitment
Being Alone
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Where Your life is Going
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

i think everyone in this world has a fear. ok i was bored and i stumble upon this quiz. hahaha. so here i am posting it. i thot my fear was blood. i think now my main fear is disappointment and i think its true. i had disaapointing people and myself. it sucks. and everytime i cry its like water in a bucket. hahahah.. oh wells.
oh! oh! oh!
IM A KILER. i killed 5 mosquitos. hahah im so evil but because of them i have lots of mosquitos bites. and it itches. damn. so everytime i see one i killed. hahahah

Im Mad About The Boy


im done with you boy.
im done hanging on to you.
im done wishing that there's something between us.
im done thinking of every possible outcome for us.
im done being there for you.
im done with all the actions.
im done hating myself because of you.
im done loving you boy.
im done.



Stand By Me - Ben E. King (click to play)

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, Oh I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

(Chorus)
So darling, darling
Stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me,
Stand by me.

if the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me, oh won't you stand now, stand by me

this is a song i dedicate to my two bestest girlfrens in the world. to my Bis, Siti Nazreah Bte Mahadi and Siti Aishah Abudal (emphasising on their Sitis)hehehe. i will always stand by you girls no matter what. after being through so much together we stayed strong for the whole incredible 5 years. and still going strong for insyallah many more years to go. i cherish what we have you girls. and now that our new life is starting and we'll be separated by different schools i hope we wont go adrift. i pray and hope we will still be in contact even though we dah tua and krepot. i love you guys so much. we have been through all the ups and downs. all the shit and drama especially if i brought it upon to you guys.Im sorry girls. i just wanna say how much i aprreciate all of it. i know you guys tak tahan my nonsense shit i bring, but you never ever stop smiling and making me smile. everyday spending time with you guys boleh jadi giler with our crazy antics and our crazy stuff which we do openly and closely. hahahah. no one should know. i will remember those times and memories that we had. never will i forget you girls. if we do tak ter-contact(choy lah) promise me you guys wont forget me. cause i know i wont. all the pictures and letters we write each other i will definitely keep it. remember our plans when dah tua for our anak to get married to each other. hahaah. lets stick to it.

Sha,when im busy and ignoring you dont think that i lupe you cause i havent. i've been with you my whole secondary school life and im not prepared to lose you just yet only when you're married to azry then you're already his milik not mine.heheeh. mesti sukekan? tgh senyum eh. hhahaa...blushing.ok stop it.serious! even when you have problems or bored or missing me and want to talk to me im only a call away and you know where i live. so come on down! dont be shy. if there's anything you need im here for you my baby! we're like twins remember? i can feel what you feel. so i know when you're feeling sad,happy,frustrated or whatever.. cause it doesnt matter all it matters I LOVE YOU! and will always do.

Naz, when im not there to solve your problems i hope you wont give up and look at another side of life and dont be to pessimistic. look at the bright side. i know i wont be there to monitor your studies(hahaha cehhh) but do concentrate and dont let anyone down especially yourself. you have to be strong. do not easily give up and take others criticism to much. cause they dont care about you. all they want is to see you fail and when they do they feel contented. so please do not think too much about it. i want you to suceeed. and whn you do open that children's home that you've been talking alot about. i want your dream to come true. and when it does! i'll be at the end smiling at you. i will cherish all our moments! you know I LOVE YOU! Im just a call away.

ps:/its deep down from my heart.


i bet people are wondering about my O-level. hahahaha.. i did good. alhamdulillah. i wasnt happy about my results in the first place when i saw it. but then when people talk to me and making me look at the bright side of life. i felt better. as some may know i was crying the night before the results come out and the day the results come out. i was merely like a cry baby. hahaaha! alhamdulillah i got to apply for poly. lets hope i get INTO a poly now. lets take everything one step at a time. hahahah.
ooohh..
yesterday was my bestest giler fren's birthday.(ok following this post its not yesterday anymore, its like two days ago.its on the 13 lah hehehe.sorry) si ABDUL JALIL BIN SUNARIO. ceh.. dah turn 18 seh. leal lah tu.i bet he'll go chaotic as usual. as his usual self. the funny but down-to-earth guy.he'sthe best fren a girl can never ask for. and i didnt ask for him.he masok into my life. hahahah..he's the best. he's like a brother which i never had. its awkward to like call him abang all cause we're the same age only 9 monhs apart. and when people do believe that we're brother and sister its just super funny.cause the pregnancy period is during the 9 months. so calculate pple. hahahah. only some would actually understand what im writing. dah 2 tahun i know this bapok and he never stop to put a smile on my face. and i will guarantee he will continue to put a smile on my face even when im krepot. 2 bad luck years with him.can you imagine? oh god. so ironic. well he does give me problems dulu lah. alhamdulillah now its all gone. and everything's better and i hope it stays that way.i just wanna wish him again! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY! and you know i always love you! :) your geek,bapok,giler,naughty,tak-nak-blajar,stone,bored,nice,funny,lepak guy. everything. keep putting a smile on my face my fren!

now im like through the poly courses which im eligible to take. oh gosh. im really nervous. im scared im school-less. like tak de skolah. i actually nangis when im like applying for a school. im so emotionalnow.mcm cry baby gitu. haahha! im going to try my utmost best to get into a good school. doa lah for me yes pple?thanks.greatly appreciated.





its so much better to cry when you're just a little girl. no one will be asking what happen to you or why are you crying? no one will ask you questions whether you're doing fine? they will just leave you alone to cry whether its loud or silence.its so much better to cry when you're all alone. its so much better that people leave you alone when you cry when you're a little girl cause they know you're crying only because of a small thing like when you dont get what you want. but when years gone by and you grow older. crying is like a job. every thing that comes in your way or the outcome, it will definitely make you cry. and when you cry when you're much older, people will start asking questions and it'll be more harder to stop crying. its best if people just leave you alone to cry. but after all the tears are shed and what is only left are the red puffyness in your eyes, thats the time when you need someone to talk to and comfort you. thats the best after it all.

everything has been nice for me. my life, my frens. my family. everything. and i couldnt ask for anything better. but you can never be quite contented with what you have. and there's always that little thing you want. well right now all i want is to be lucky if i get into a polytechnic and get my diploma. i've not been feeling myself lately. it just scares me to know how hard growing up could be. all i want is to earse everything and stay as that cute,bubbly toddler who only knows how to spit,laugh,cry,eat,sleep and shit. well. its reality. stop dreaming. and there's that thing which i want. grabbing that momment making it mine. but how? its complicated. its tough. im just not myself. how hard it is to woo a guy this days. to capture the guy's heart. its been a long time since i did all that. and suddenly its coming back to me and its all surreal. i dont know where to begin. how to start. someone,anyone,anywho. pls teach me.

okay now im letting you guys watch one of my favourite cartoons. they are so cute. especially the blue one. i forgot the name ah! hhahha. well this will definitely cheer me up ah! and i love the voice ah. ish so cute! oh well just watch for your entertainment ok!




MY NEW LOOK FOR 2009!(ok minus the gigi) hhaha. its not intend to be that way. the NERD. specs are back. hehehe. dah lame asik pakai contacts je. its time to bring out the specs. it gives more voom. hahaha.im bringing my normal house look to the public now. haahha! ok wells. ive been having weird mixed feelings. stress,confused,scared,happy and takut.

firstly its because my results are coming out in like 2 days time. its on monday. tak takut ke? i never wish this day would come so fast. i thought i had few more months of enjoyment.(ya allah dah tak pergi skolah for months je english dah fail) hehehe.im so anxious yet scared. my whole future can change in one day. either good or bad. seriously. tapi whats done cannot be undone. so i have to redha. breathe.. hoo hoo hoo. hee hee hee.(breathing exercise) hahaah!

secondly im just feeling tired ah. merepek kan? dah lah tak skolah and kerje but i feel tired. tido lamabt bangun early. tido cepat bangun lamabt. ape dah idayu. nonsense ah my body functioning now. hehehe. oh wells. im enjjoying my holiday. well spent. :)

oh oh oh. my new favourite accent is INDON!i swear bile orang berbual with me in that accent cair kau.. hehehe..gue suke banget. oh how i wish i could speak it. anyone care to teach me? well not only that language ah.. others also. spanish and french would be nice. heheeh. prasan! do tag eh if anyone interested in teaching me other accents. im a good student! heehhe

eh look at the time i post this post. its a minute past 12. cool ah! ok im excited. hahhha.. whatever.

ps:/ i still do think about you.always.



i think i look happy. do you guys think i look happy? hhahha. i may not have everything i want but i still have people to fall back on. with my ups and downs. keep thinking about that moment. i dont know whether its real or just main-main. tapi i felt that feeling. oh crap. stop it idayu. no one wants to listen to your love-struck shit.i wonder who's reading my blog? is it even readable? i got many new year stuff to do! firstly get that height and body i've wanted and then get good grades and get into poly. then i think my life will start to change. new environment.
new people. ooohh.
oh! oh! oh! oh! my parents are coming home tonight. im so happy. going to pick them up at the airport later. yippee. its been a month plus since theyleft for haji. i miss them oh so much. well there are some stuff which is left untold to them. hehehe! but im glad they are coming home tonight. i get to hug my mom to sleep and see my dad ngorok in front of the tv late at night and denying he was asleep. so cute!


Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend

So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave

have you ever thought that you regret breaking up with that someone? i dont think i regretted from breaking up with anyone i was with cause i feel that i havent found that perfect one. it was merely a trying out relationships all through out my secondary school life. yes, i may do have those i-like-you moments but i know it wasnt anything serious. and it couldnt go anyway. merely this song is about the guy regretting breaking up with her and just wishing to be her friend. i know i messed up alot in relationships the last time i was in. but i was young and didnt know anything and i had no helped from anyone and i learnt it all myself. right now i wouldnt say i regret it all but i learnt alot from the guys i dated(ok well i wouldnt say its alot cause its not) so dont think of me that way. im a good girl. but right now as its a new year. soon to be a year older i realise you would want to find that someone special in your life to share your moments with now. currently in my circle of friends and family everyone i know is attached. it sucks but i think im okay with it.i think now i want to date like a guy. there's no point in me holding on to this guy i really like but not going anyway. there's the signs and the moments but its just stagnant after that. i dont want waste my time anymore. its just one big bizarre love triangle. there's many fishes out there.(just an expression). so why am i sitting here waiting for this chance to happen when i can go out there and grab it myself. and chase after this feeling, this chance of finding a good guy for me. its not like im getting older or anything its just i feel that its the moment where you want to spend your happy,sad,angry,constipated,crappy and many more moments with someone.
currently now i know its stupid but im watching this video of 100 facts about a guy. im just bored and maybe it will make me understand more about guys. rather than i twist and twist and make it all complicated and get it out straight. hhaha! oh wells. there's no harm in trying that right now. go chase it! woohoo!


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow. very fast eh dah a new year. just yesterday was 2008. a year younger than today. there was many stuff happening in 2008. the ups and downs. many heartbreaks and many happy moments. some relationship and frenship failed some were renewed and some were found. hahaha!
well in this new year whatever im doing in 2008. im going to change it. im goin to be a better person than before. lagipun im turning 18. i know its not a big deal lah but its a legal age.

New Year resolutions.( im going to stick to it!)
1. Exercise and lose weight
2. Make more frens, open my circle of frens.
3. Spend less money
4. Get into poly.(insyallah)
5. Find that Mr ONE.
6. Be a good daughter/friend/sister.