i was listening to the alicia keys teenage love affair song. suddenly it got me thinking about my past teenage love affair.hmm.. let me remember my very first real boyfriend. i think it was when i was sec 3.that was the real one i suppose. we got hitched by our friends. cliche i know. it was new to me so i thought what the heck. i wasn't so sure about all this. but i know it was a nice feeling. the feeling of having someone there for you constantly. and someone to turn to when you're sad, lonely or happy. well it was nice while it lasted.then the bad stuff starts to happen. when you know your partner is so ready in a relationship but you know you cant commit. scary isnt it. well thats me. i knew he was like so into it. but deep down i wasnt. i was still young. i had a whole life ahead of me. more joy and heartbreaks. but whatever. i know then i wasn't ready but now? im still thinking. i want to be. but sometimes there's always that insecure feeling you have whenever you see other people kan? normal. but that feeling wont go away. thats why im half-hearted. hahaha. maybe after secondary school. just a few more months. maybe then i'll be fully ready. i hope i'll be. it'll be a fresh new start for me. no more drama.
im tired of constantly going home late from school and continue studying. penat tau. i just want everything to be over quick. just cramp up all the information into my head then im ready to take the paper. but well my brain is not that big. im no computer which can store everything. hahaha oh man.this are just some random posts. read if you pple want. its my blog anyway.