this past few days have been fun yet saddening. i just cant seem to understand my family sometimes especially my mom. she knows i am 15 already i can take care of myself. im not 5 anymore. she does not need to worry. i try to understand her but everytim i do that she gets me frustrated and stressed up. i am trying my very best to make her happy but evrytime it makes her sad and it will make her feel like i let her down. why must this happen? and you know i need you here with me now. i think about you everyday and everytime you come to my mind i try to forget it. but it jsut seems to be stuck there. why are you showing signs that you like me and care for me when you havent ask me yet. i am hurting inside because of you. but i will try my best to let you go. i do not want to hurt you or myself even. i know we are not meant to be. i will be happy when you're happy. i have upcoming tests now. and it really gets me stressed up. i cant take it anymore.

i think this song is a nice song to listen if you are feeling this way.
michael buble: Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone elses life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home